In Chinese, there is this saying: “To have a conversation with a wise person exceeds the benefits of studying for ten years. This week, I had a long conversation with someone and it felt like a breath of fresh air.
To be frank, it has been a stressful period for me. Dealing with work, facing setbacks and criticism has affected my morale. It created a lot of self doubt and reflection. The reflection is good but the self doubt is not. And I have reached an inflection point.
The person I spoke with was affirming. But although the affirmation felt good, I was very aware that it is just coming from one person, though it carries some weight as this person is senior, experienced and respected. That said, it could also well be to make myself feel better. I am not doubting the sincerity of the words, but because I know I am speaking to a kind person and kind person usually focuses on the strength of someone, not the weaknesses. I am more aware of that than anyone else that I have a long way ahead for self improvement and growth. But it was what I needed, and it drove me to do more instead of feeling dejected.
Sometimes, it is a fine line between being delusional and discouraged. We need to find the right balance where we still have a sense of reality, yet not discouraged enough to try. Sometimes, being delusional helps. For instance, no one would expect that someone like William Hung would shot to fame. But he did.
During my early phase of my career, I was told in my face by someone senior: You are a good for nothing. This was despite that I had transformed from a young delinquent to someone who managed to enter one of the top universities in the world, something unimaginable at all when I was young. Although many years later, I had forgave the speaker, it is something that I will never forget.
I was delusional. I said I would enter one of the local universities when I was still a delinquent, scoring poorly in class and had poor conduct. But that overflowing confidence got me to strive and I eventually did. Perhaps sometimes, what we need is that breath of fresh air, even if the words are meant to be kind and protect our ego.
The conversation also gave me new perspective and new strategy to consider. It is not easy to have a new perspective and I cherish that more than anything else because the conversation has given me a fresh pair of eyes.
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